What it Means + How to Live It Out at Home
Charlotte Mason’s first and most foundational principle is simple, but profound:
“Children are born persons.”
At first , this may not seem life – changing. But when Charlotte Mason first said it, it challenged the educational norms of her day and it still challenges many modern assumptions about children.
This principle is the foundation of her philosophy. Everything else she taught flows from this truth.
So what does it mean?
It means your child is already a whole person.
Not someone you have to mold into a person through education or discipline.
Not a blank slate.
Not a project.
But a unique soul, created in the image of God, with their own thoughts, desires, curiosities, and desire for relationship.
This belief changes how we educate, how we parent, and how we relate to our children.
What It’s Not
Charlotte Mason did not mean that children are mini adults. She believed children still needed guidance, discipline, and maturity and that those things were given with respect and understanding, not force or manipulation.
She also didn’t mean we let children do whatever they please. Rather, we treat them as we’d treat any person—with dignity, patience, truth, and a commitment to help them grow and develop in character.
Living Out Charlotte Mason’s 1st Principle:
1. Listen with Full Attention
Take your child’s words seriously—even if they’re small.
Example: When your 4-year-old explains why they don’t want to clean up, pause, kneel down, and truly listen before offering guidance. This shows you value their thoughts. And a response would be to calmly and kindly explain why it is important to tend to the home. “I understand cleaning isn’t always fun AND it is important to take care of our home together, let’s make a game – How fast can you pick up all of your cars? Ready, set, GO!”
2. Honor Their Emotions Without Dismissing
Rather than saying “You’re fine,” or “That’s silly,” validate the emotion.
Example: “It looks like you’re feeling disappointed. Do you want to tell me more?”
This doesn’t mean you give in—but you respond as you would to a respected adult. Let them explain their feelings fully to you without interjecting or explaining your side first. After they are done explaining and are calm that is when a conversation can open up.
3. Avoid Manipulation or Bribing
Respect their ability to learn to do right because it is right—not for stickers or treats.
Example: Say, “We take turns because we’re practicing kindness,” instead of, “If you share, I’ll give you a cookie.” I really try hard to not bribe or pay my children when they practice good habits. The idea here is to establish good morals, and tying treats or allowance to practicing good habits can make this confusing or drive the child to have a different motive behind the behavior than what is good and true.
4. Give Real Work, Not Busy Work
Children thrive when trusted with meaningful tasks.
Example: Let your 3-year-old help rinse vegetables, sweep the porch, or fold napkins. Assign chores with purpose, not just to keep them busy. I let my children help out around the house as much as they’d like. My 3 year old helps rinse dishes in the sink, my oldest loves to vacuum, and both of my oldest children help sort laundry. This can also be seen as connection time because we are doing something together and there’s often conversation and teaching.
5. Use Living Ideas, Not Just Facts
Feed their minds on rich stories, beauty, and truth—not dry textbooks.
Example: Read real books with noble ideas—like Winnie-the-Pooh, Aesop’s Fables, or Bible stories. Let their imagination connect to moral and spiritual truths.
6. Give Them Space to Wonder and Think
Don’t over-explain or lecture. Let them form their own thoughts.
Example: After a nature walk, ask “What was your favorite thing?” instead of giving a science lesson. Trust that curiosity leads to growth.
7. Apologize When You Fall Short
Show them what humility looks like.
Example: If you snap in frustration, say, “I’m sorry I spoke harshly. I’m working on being gentle, just like you are learning to obey.”
This models mutual respect.
8. Trust Their Capacity to Grow
Don’t underestimate what they can learn or understand.
Example: Read Scripture aloud and discuss it—even if they don’t grasp it all. Children often understand more than we expect and grow into deeper understanding over time.
9. Let Them Make Choices Within Boundaries
Allowing them small choices shows respect for their personhood.
Example: “Would you like to water the flowers or sweep the porch today?”
This helps build responsibility and self-governance.
In this particular season both of my oldest children are asking for more independence and I find myself saying yes a lot more. There are age appropriate limitations of course or I’ll say “if you need my help let me know”
10. Treat Discipline as Discipleship
Correction should shape the heart, not just control behavior.
Example: If a child is unkind, walk through what happened gently. “What could we do next time to love our sibling better?” Teach from a heart of grace, not shame.
Bonus tips
11. Make Room for Silence and Stillness
Children don’t need constant noise or stimulation.
Try this: Light a candle during breakfast or tea time and sit together in quiet for a moment. You’ll be surprised by how sacred that space becomes. Silence invites thought.
12. Don’t Dumb Things Down
Give them rich language, ideas, and materials, even if it seems “beyond” them.
Try this: Use correct words for things (like cardinal instead of “red bird,” or obedience instead of “being good”). Read poetry. Children naturally are drawn to and inspired by beauty.
13. Let Nature Be Their Teacher
Charlotte Mason believed nature teaches truth and beauty.
Try this: Give time outside each day with no agenda, just observation, movement, and breathing in God’s creation.
14. Speak Truth About Who They Are
Children live into the identity you speak into them.
Try this: “God made you brave and kind,” or “You are someone who can do hard things.” Speak identity over behavior. These seeds bear fruit over time.
15. Protect Their Right to a Childhood
Not everything needs to be a lesson or an outcome. Let them be.
Try this: Watch them play. Don’t interrupt. Don’t hover or constantly direct. Just enjoy them. Let them wonder, tinker, pretend, rest. This is holy work.
16. Let Them Know You’re Learning, Too
You’re not above them—you’re alongside them.
Try this: Say, “I didn’t know that either,” or “Let’s figure this out together.” Learning becomes a shared journey.
17. Build Meaningful Family Traditions
Children flourish with ritual and belonging.
Try this: A special tea time on Fridays, nature walks on Sundays, or reciting a Psalm at breakfast. Simple habits help them feel grounded and known.
18. Create Atmosphere Before Instruction
The environment often teaches more than your words.
Try this: Keep the home calm and orderly where you can with things like soft music, natural light, a clean table, gentle tones. Your home speaks before your mouth does.
This reminds us that education is not something we do to our children—it’s something we offer them. Our job is not to control or command every outcome, but to faithfully nurture, lead, and invite them into truth, beauty, and relationship.
One day, this child in front of you will grow into an adult. But even now, they are fully human. Fully worthy of our respect. Fully capable of rich thought. Fully deserving of a thoughtful education and a loving home. Charlotte Mason believed it. And so do we.
If this post spoke to your heart, I’d love to invite you to join me over on Made For Home. That’s where I share more in-depth reflections, encouragement for the homeschooling journey, and practical tools for creating a life-giving home. Think of it as a quiet corner for kindred spirits—where we slow down, breathe deep, and grow together.
visit Made For Home on Substack → here and follow along on instagram: @alivingmotherhood
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